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Sunday, 11 September 2016

My Walking Dead Dream Crate - courtesy of LootCrate.com

Do you know something? I've often fantasised about my role in any potential apocalypse. There is a part of me would like to think that I would be a fearless fighting gun-toting heroic leader who would always know what to say and what to do...... and all the while getting as much female attention that I could handle - as it were. 

Now while a few of you are still lying on the floor at the back in hysterical fits of laughter at the thought of little Ole me being all loved up, I will readily admit the reality would more likely be different - very different. I would in truth probably be something of an arse; There is a good chance that I would in fact be that guy who holds everybody back by continually whimpering 'We're all going to die!".....or that guy who wanders off after being told to stay put and so gets his face eaten off by a marauding zombie....or that guy in the group who everyone else hates and wants to kill far more than the Zombies do.......that b**stard who got almost Glenn killed in The Walking Dead......or maybe I would even be the biggest baddest bad guy of them all - now THAT would be fun.

Those people who are unfortunate enough to know me well are well aware of my obsession with The Walking Dead. I discovered the Graphic novels a couple of years after they first appeared back in the dim and distant days of 2003. Yes, yes I know......once again I was quite ineptly behind the times. It certainly wasn't the first or last time. To be precise it was the summer of 2006 in which I first discovered the stunning artwork and storytelling that depicted a world where an unknown apocalyptic event has transformed the majority of the human population into slobbering, rotting flesh-eating zombies (in other words, parts of Glasgow after midnight)

A few years later (2010 to be once again precise) I learnt that the story was going to be adapted for TV, much to the suspicion and jealousy of some of my fellow Walking dead aficionados.  

I did try to dislike the TV series, I really did. After all, like many I had developed a rather selfish ownership over the graphic novel series. Even when I heard that the mercurial Frank Darabont was going to be initially at the helm I was yet to be convinced. I had decided beforehand that I simply didn't want to be part of of what I saw as the inevitable watering down in the mainstreaming and mass-popularity that would take place. 

I can still vividly remember on that night in 2010 when I sat in front of my television to watch the 1st episode, arms crossed and a fixed facial expression that signified that I wasn't going to enjoy myself, no matter what.

Well five or so seasons later, that has somewhat changed, Actually, if truth be told it changed about 3 or 4 minutes into that first episode. Yes, the show deviated almost immediately from the comic source material, and in probably in far too many ways that irked many fellow comic fans. However, what hasn't changed is the notion that when the inevitable Zombie apocalypse finally arrives, I'll still want to be the hero - but will no doubt turn out to be something an an anti-hero.......All I needed is something to focus my attention.

Well funnily enough, something arrived in my email inbox this week which did just that. The message in question came from Loot Crate - A monthly subscription & community that delivers crates of rather fabulous gear to geeks & gamers. Apparently the company delivers the best in geek + gaming gear. From collectibles, apparel, tech gadgets, art, and other epic gear, it's like Comic-Con in a box! 

The information that I received was in general to simply to check the website out, which I duly did and saw a veritable plethora of easy morsals that could satisfy my very own geeky appetite. If you don't believe me then check it out for yourself at https://www.lootcrate.com 

So this got me thinking (something I do very occasionally until it gives me a headache) -  Loot Crate say they offer up a unique monthly box of awesome for every fandom, enthusiast group and style. All we have to do is pick our your crate and off we go. So I decided to highlight what would be in my very own Dream Crate - and off course it could only be my very own Walking Dead Dream Crate.




The 5D Walking Dead Dream Crate

My theme for the crate would quite obviously be the Zombie apocalypse Anti-hero - whether it by the cowardly individual who's self-centred yellow streak results in one of the main cast being torn apart form the slobbering hordes. Or maybe it could be the big bad bad guy that's the anti-hero....... Hmmmm, decisions, decisions. Maybe it would have to be either The Governor (Bloody hell, I still haven't recovered from what the bastard did to Hershal) or maybe the biggest baddest baseball bat wielding bastard of them them all, Negan. Oh yes, Negan it is.

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of meeting our favourite Walking Dead psychotic, Negan appeared in the 100th edition of the comic series and in the most recent run of the TV series. He is quite simply the most deliciously nasty of all anti-heroes as the leader of the Saviours human community. He's highly intelligent, charismatic, domineering and easily sways between pragmatic gentleness and outright sadistic violence. Well the first couple of parts were me at least........

Hmmm, so now I want some items in my Walking Dead Anti-hero Dream Crate.

Item 1

The first thing that I would want including would be my very own Lucille. Now for those who may not be particularly versed in the Walking Dead world, Lucille is a charming little implement that Negan uses as his main weapon of choice - namely a charming little baseball bat lovingly coated in barbed wire...... now THAT'S going to tickle! Lucille is more than just an implement of violence, it is also an extension of Negan himself, it is part of him and he loves her.

Now while a full-sized version of Lucille may not fit in my Dream Crate then at least a smaller version of it would suffice.

Item 2

Of course I would want a figure of the main man himself - A mini Negan of my very own! Maybe it could even be a bouncing head Negan that could go on the dashboard of my car - now that could work. 

Item 3

In fact why stop at Negan?! - I want a whole range of collectible figures from the series, Rick, Darryl, Glenn, Maggie and of course the Stepford wife psychopath herself, Carole. In fact if they were just plain figures then I could take the time to paint them myself - yes that's right, my nerdome knows no bounds thankfully.


Item 4

I want a some clothes and I want them now! T shirts, socks and boxing shorts - no self respecting anti-hero should be without them in a Zombie apocalypse. Now in my day job as a college lecturer (before the apocalypse comes, of course) I feel nothing will say 'sophistication' and 'professionalism' more than a pair of Zombie socks and some zombie-chomping boxing shorts. This wold all be topped off by a very nice 'Lucille is gonna getcha! T-shirt to provide the full sartorial ensemble. (Before any of you worry and decide to ring the authorities, I do also wear trousers in my job as well).


Item 5 

No Walking Dead Dream Crate would be complete without an edition of the comic itself, or at least a some artwork related to it. It would have to be Issue 100, when our friendly neighbourhood psychopath was first introduced as he proceeded to give Glenn a lesson in headache avoidance. Do I want my artwork bloody, violent and disgusting?.....of course I do! Give me posters, lobby cards and anything else of a zombie flesh eating pictorial nature!


Item 6

The one thing in the apocalypse that will be something of a problem after a while seems to be the distinct lack of food - well except that is if you're a raging flesh gobbling zombie. But as I plan that the most important person in the apocalypse (me) has enough to eat I also want some nice little edibles in my Dream Crate - some Zombie resistent perishables if you like...... Negan nibbles, Zesty Zombie candy, Carol's cookies, Walker Walnuts....... yum.





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